This song is about a sadness...but that's only part of it.

The music and the words came together a few years ago over a bottle of scotch during a blizzard when I was living in Schenectady, NY and the rough draft would sleep on my hard drive for half a decade but the spirit of the song would haunt me.

A couple years later, I was tasked to pick a song to refine for a class I was taking at Berklee. And I started in on her. I was offered the opportunity to meet with my professor Shane. In that session, we did a deep dive and made some real changes and this song started taking on a new life. There was a story in there. And I felt further compelled to unravel it.

A year later, I was getting ready to bring something new to the studio. This song was burning a hole in my hard drive. The guitar tracks went down easy enough. I called on my buddy Nick, the bassist in a band that I just recently signed onto called Black Mountain Symphony. Everybody in this group was, and is, heavy-hitting and road seasoned musicians. Nick's instincts were true and the bass went down without a hitch. Then it came time for me to sing...

I tried everything. I sung it this way and that. I was on pitch, yet lacking an honesty. I sported bravado for some takes, knowing the whole time I was missing the mark. I left the studio that night discouraged.

I spent the next few months mapping out my vocal melodies on piano and guitar, the way one ought to when confronted with failure. I needed to get the technical aspects under control so I could forget them and truly let myself surrender to the hurting heart of this tune.

Toward the end of 2020, my travels took me to Monterrey, MX. As you know, we were all in a pandemic. I was in the best company one could ask for, most nights listening to George Benson albums over tequila with my in-laws. This damn song needed to happen. A friend of a friend of a brother-in-law was able to fit me in for a studio session.

I'm gonna level with you. I was honestly terrified I was gonna embarrass myself. Then I met Checo and his team... They were, and are, young, sweet and full of life. It felt good to be among nasty musicians who are truly at the heart of a hot hot music scene. Checo didn't speak a whole lot of English and my Spanish is rudimentary at best. We had some bilingual folks among us but as we moved through the session, we started skipping the translators, working more in our simple impromptu language. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew i needed this. "mass, menos, otro"

As we all sat behind the board and worked on the mix, I watched this thing come together. I was moved in a way that I can't quite describe. This wasn't just my song anymore. We all said goodbye, fighting the urge to hug the whole time, and pledging to work together again soon.

And as with any good mix, we sent her on her way to Victoria Studios to get mastered. She came back and I listened about a million times...

This track is about asking for help. So many times, we go through life trying to look like we have it all together. And most of us don't. And it's a fine day when we can lay ourselves out before others and admit that we could use some help. And it's a fine day when someone with a good heart says, "No hay problema"

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Mexico Suicide Hotline: 5255102550